Mon Jan 12 2009 12:57pm PST
Mood: strange
Music: Jason Mraz - I\'m Yours
Feelings are strange creatures. They sneak up on you like a ninja and blow things up or show how weak your defenses really are. Not long ago my feelings ninja-d me when I wasn\'t at all ready. Maybe it wasn\'t a bad thing though. I needed to be tested to see if I could resist.
And although I could resist externally, internally I still love you. I wish that it wasn\'t so, that I could look at you and feel nothing. But I fear that I\'ll have it the rest of my life and, if so, that\'s fine. I\'ve long since accepted that you will never feel the same.
I think to myself sometimes, If I had amnesia and met you for the first time again, I would just fall all over just the same.
I do miss you. As much as I would love to call and talk, or hang out, I can\'t bring myself to do it it\'s much too dangerous for me the way things are.
Typing here is so inadequate for what I am thinking. For every sentence I could write, there are 3 or 4 others that I have no words for.
You are always more beautiful than I remember. Keep being sweet ;)