Fri Nov 21 2008 2:37pm PST
Mood: sad, lonely, bored
Music: shippuuden ending theme
Before i get into things lets define some terms, yay!
INFATUATION: the feeling you have when you first meet someone you like.
LUST: a feeling of sexual attraction that is purely physical.
LOVE: love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (biblical definition)
ATTRACTIVE: the combination of physical features, friendship, and personality. (my definition)
Let\'s start by breaking down what love is so we can have a better view of what is happening.
Love Is: Patient, Kind
Love Does: keep no records of wrongs, Rejoice with the truth
Love Does Not: Envy, Boast, Delight in evil
Love Is Not: Proud, Rude, Self-seeking, Easily angered
Love Always: Protects, Trusts, Hopes, Perseveres
Knowing what love is helps in figuring out how to apply it in your life and relationships. If you fail to apply it in all facets of your life then it will simularly fail in a relationship. Just as Jesus said in the two greatest commandments on who we are to love. Love God with all your heart, mind, body, and soul. Love others as you love yourself. The things that love is, does, does not, is not, and always are easy to remember so learn them. You will need them.
People tend to mistake feelings of infatuation or lust as love. Love is not a feeling. Feelings can change on a whim. Love is an action. Love is a choice you have to make but I\'m getting ahead of myself. I\'ll come back to this shortly.
A good strong relationship seems to revolve around two things that a man and woman must do. First they must learn to trust each other absolutely. Second they must make a choice. These two things usually are happening at the same time. This is the secret. Too easy? All hard things are simple :).
During the course of a relationship this process of learning to trust will hit a point where one or both must make a choice to continue. This comes when someone crosses a point in their trust relationship where it is uncomfortable (ie something hurts). No? Then think of a question that you either fear the answer to or fear their reaction to the asking of said question. Such fear is caused by not trusting that you will be together after the answer or question. That fear should not exist and needs to be dealt with. Before you answer or ask you need to make a choice. Will I stay with this person regardless of the answer/question? You should also ask yourself, if there are any questions or answers you are afraid to tell (love always trusts, love keeps no records of wrongs. Although infidelity should be intolerible). Make a pact. If you are truely serious, make a pact that defines what can end the relationship so that in all other things you will not fear rejection. Also, always talk as if the other will always be there in the future. Make plans in that way too (love always hopes). Working through the things that scare you will make your relationship stronger and closer (love is patient. love always perservers).
Choosing to trust doesn\'t apply to just intimate knowledge of each other but also in your everyday life. Money is a big thing that people fail to trust each other on. The household things that are \"mine\" also show how well people trust each other. If you really trust them, you should trust them to care for the things that are \"yours\" (love is not easily angered, love always trusts). Refering to things as \"ours\" seems to help a lot I have seen. Something else to keep in mind is never lie. Lots of little lies will quickly make you untrustworthy and destroy your relationship (love does rejoice with the truth).
Once you work out this trust thing. You will find most issues are minor. Once you trust that they wont leave at any silly stupid thing (love is not self-seeking) or that they wont leave because of some disagreement (love is not proud) or something stupid you said or did (love is patient). You have arrived :).
Now that you are here, keep learning to work together. Always practice love in every situation. Hold no compliment back (love is kind). Hold no \"I love you\" back. When you say \"I love you\" you are saying that \"I will be patient and kind to you, I wont bring up past offences and I\'ll tell you the truth even when it hurts. I wont be envious, boastful, or treat you with evil intentions. I will not be proud or rude or selfish or easily angered. I will always protect you, always trust you, always hope with you, always perserver with you.\" This is the sum of the secret revealed to me years ago and now I give it to you.