Tue Dec 25 2007 9:44pm PST
Mood:
Music:
Oh what a year. 2007 has been a strange one. Full of losses and gains. A year where I'm beginning to see the gifts grow. A year ending in peace that oddly shouldn't be there yet is. Oh what a year!
The biggest thing that has happened this year was series of predictions coming true with frightening precision. Plus a dream I had years ago also shown to be related and fulfilled. There is still one more thing left in the series of predictions. I was very surprised to find the 3rd thing in the series be proved true so soon. Sad really, with the 3rd thing proven, the forth is almost assured. Only time will tell.
I lost my best friend this year. I suppose it could have been avoided had I just been told how impossible it is last year with no chance in the future sort of talk. Didn't help that a lot of other things were half truths and omissions. But I guess it was easier to appease the moment and not rock the boat. I'll never accept such answers from anyone again. Just put me out of my misery and if things change surprise me later. As for me, I'm going to push for yes or no, now or never, since then. I don't have time for girls that don't know what they want. C.S. Lewis was right, truth is better than comfort/happiness.
I'm in a rather weird place I haven't been. I don't want a girlfriend and yet, I do. Not sure what to make of it. But I feel at peace doing nothing for the moment.
This year I learned why I've dreamed about war all my life. It hasn't been physical war I've been seeing in my dreams but spiritual. Funny that at the time I learned this, was also around the time I was set free of certain emotions, suddenly I'm dreaming of weddings and/or this mysterious dark haired girl. Oh, if only I had a name! Almost every night since. God has got to have a sense of humor.
I also learned a way to pray that is totally open. Putting everything on the table about a particular subject. It was that, that likely brought about the things I saw. Several other things are now starting to melt away because of it. Through this process I discovered I fear only one thing. I wrote lots of things but it all boiled down to one issue. Hmm.
I completed all the things I set out to do at the beginning of the year except one. But that doesn't bother me. I can resist a little longer.
2007 seems to have been a year of spiritual growth. Learning about the Father part of God the Father. Growing stronger in knowledge and faith by using the weapons and tools given to me along with a willing heart. 2008 will surely be an interesting year indeed.